6/06/23 Show Day! // Evaluating myself

Candidate Declaration - I confirm that the attached portfolio is all my own work* and does not include any work completed by anyone other than myself 

The day started with everyone waiting for tech to be done and plotted, and once it was we all got dressed for the run, my outfit was two brown boots, suit trousers long sleeved suit shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and a waistcoat. I'd keep this up until Act two Scene 11, where I'd come on wearing a thick coat. As Mr Bhaer's poor he wouldn't have been able to afford a full tailcoat or suit jacket, but I feel as though the waistcoat and the standard felt coat perfectly suite him. Alongside this he also wore a cravet which I made out of my dad's red pattern tie. I was ready, I was excited, and I was prepared. 

Though not long after the photo was taken, we had to take down the set behind me as we had deemed it too dangerous and Kelly asked Musical Theatre to take it down, as it was theirs, however they didn't, so their mess was left to us to clean, however we made the most of it, and turned it into a set that we could use as the attic, without it being on a high platform. 

Following the set being fully completed, we started the dress one, now I don't come on until midway through act two, and I had suspected that it was going to take quite a while however it took far longer than expected. But once it came to my part we started flying, I was very pleased with how it initially went, I was backstage, shaking from how nervous I was despite it being a dress run, but I was desperate for it to go well, thus I went on stage, and I got into the moment, I had kept it up until about scene 11, where I froze and had to ask for a queue, but after which I was perfectly fine with the rest of the show, aside from just correcting my blocking and moving to stand in the finales light I think it went pretty well for a dress run. The only note I'd have given myself is to be louder, project my voice more. 

After a few hours of waiting the time for the show arrived, house opened and sooner after it began. I was sat in makeup nervous and constantly asking what scene we were on to anyone who walked into the room from backstage, I kept trying to distract myself from my nerves and tried to focus by learning lines for The Last Resort and going over my own lines after I had messed up in the run. I wasn't as confident in myself as I had liked but I was trying my best. Sooner than expected act two had came, but the interval came before, in which everyone in cast one went to a dance studio with Kane to go over how to do the Bows, as in true SRC tradition we do bows at the last second. After which, and a few scenes ahead, I grabbed my prop, the letter package, straightened my waistcoat and cravet out and stood next to the curtain until I heard my queue, to which I walked on, looked at the doorway, I imagined as though Bhaer would admire it for a mere moment, as he took in the little things, before heading inside to see Jo. I remember when I stood next to the curtain I was quite literally shaking from my nerves, but made sure to control my breathing, until I was ready to walk on and perform, it was an amazing feeling being able to perform in front of a large audience again, and whilst YOLO will be my favourite show I've done, this has definitely been an incredibly fun experience.

The scene following, I was more confident in myself, granted nervous still but what actor isn't? Instead for this scene, at my queue line I rush on, in a form of worry and distress as I walk in immediately through the doorway to see Jo, it's a contrast from the previous scene of a happy greeting, to now a sad goodbye. I tried to show this, and the slight language barrier through facial expressions and body language, for example when Jo says "I will have no time for German" I wanted it to seem like Bhaer thought she meant him, by German, no time to be with him anymore, no time for him. So I conveyed his misunderstanding through actions and with his stuttering. Until at the end of the scene, where I made sure to keep looking at the door, as she turned away to open my mouth as if to say something, waiting to see if she'd come back before turning to face the audience, looking at the book she returned to me, stroking it slightly and staring at the audience whilst saying "It is not for me, I must not hope it now" and walking off with conviction. In this scene I believe I could've worked on my blocking Better, I kept trying to make sure that I was facing the audience but with the way I play the character it was very difficult to keep my body facing forward consistently, though I tried my best I don't think I did it well enough. Though thankfully I have Thursday to work on what I personally think I didn't do well and for that I'm incredibly thankful.

The scene next is where I meet Jo's family, for this I wore the thick coat, to show that he was out and about, I turned up a page before I'm supposed to be on, so that I can hand Hannah the book that Jo reads. I walked on a few seconds after Hannah did, handing her the book, and as the family continued talking, I waited at the door, I wanted to make it seem like Bhaer was having second thoughts about walking in, about how nervous he was, how badly he wants to do it, until I heard my queue line was coming up, so I reached out for the door handle, before opening the door and walking in at my queue-line. As I walked in, I stuttered slightly to demonstrate his nervousness, as he nervously smiles, walking in to the centre, greeting Jo and her family, and he's happy up till Laurie's introduced, where he feels as though him and Jo are getting engaged, so he's put off when Laurie greets him, so he makes an excuse to leave, I believe he did it because he didn't want to seem like an Inconvicence, and he wanted to escape an awkward situation, until Laurie notices this, realises it and states that he's married to Amy. I changed my expression from being nervous and slightly upset, to relieved and happy before I ask if I can come again, thanking both Marmee and Jo, whilst taking a second to look at Jo, before leaving. I see Bhaer doing this because he's now certain for his feelings with Jo, knowing Laurie has a wife, he's now able to express his feelings, to which he plans to do before he leaves, but is unsure how, until his fateful bump into her by accident, almost as though it was controlled by fate itself. 

Speaking of, for the finale, once I'm back behind the curtain I basically have to sprint backstage to grab the umbrella off the prop table, and then immediately sprint back to my place, and usually by the time I'm in place, we're essentially at my queue, so I walk on stage, lift the umbrella up and continue walking until I bump into her, and by this point It's smooth sailing, I'm confident and I'm ready to finish the show with a bang. We do it exactly as planned, the small walk, helping each other to get into the light, for example when we talk initially, I walk into the light and I hold the umbrella out so that she walks under it and we're both in the spotlight. The scene demonstrates how they're alike, laughing, interested in what the other was saying, and the awkward anxiety of confessing your feelings, and once they know and agree, it all spills out, and merges into the kiss. At the kiss however, I lowered the umbrella, I make sure to pull the umbrella in enough to block our faces, so that we don't have to actually kiss but It's still romantic and a perfect end to the play.

Overall Evaluation: 

Having been Bhaer in two casts I've been able to experience his thoughts and his life twice. It's been incredibly fun, and interesting to learn about, from research to actually performing, professor Bhaer has been one of my favourite roles to play as, it's been challenging, yet massively rewarding each time. I'd not have traded Bhaer for Laurie at all now that the shows over, I'm incredibly happy with the turn out. I personally think during the shows I could've been a little louder, minded my stagecraft more as even after finishing it, I still feel as though my blocking was awkward through it, it just felt off. I also know I struggled to keep up the accent, I made sure to hold it whenever I could, but some words It fell either into a French accent or my normal voice, this a contrast to how easy it was to keep up Mrs gloops voice, as her accent was overexaggerated, either way a very good and challenge I was more than happy to have. However, with bad comes the good! I am very pleased with how I acted it, how the chemistry was between both me and Emie and me and Millie. I couldn't be happier, and I have both my tutor Kelly, and all of my peers that I have worked with other the past few weeks to bring this show to the fantastic end it deserved. 

Feedback from peers:

Kelly Fairhurst - "Our professor was perfect, the love child of Mrs gloop, Fedrick was the hero we needed!"

My mum - "Mark,

Here is some feedback for your regarding your performance of professor Bahert (or however it’s spelled) in Little Women on Tuesday June 6th 2023

Firstly I would like to congratulate you and the whole ensemble of a job well done. I’m not a fan of “Little Women” yet I enjoyed the performance immensely.

I found your accent very good and I actually felt emotional when watching you and Emmie performing together. I could believe that you were in love! You both portrayed that shyness and awkwardness that can be felt when falling in love to perfection.

I thought the umbrella at the end was awesome! 

The only thing I would say that you didn’t quite manage to do was to convey the fact that the professor is much older than Jo March. Also your dad noticed you drop your accent a little bit."

My sister - "Your stage presence was fanstastic which showed you had a great understanding of the character. You used your acting skills effectively and always ensured you reacted well to the characters you were interacting with and the atmosphere on stage. You had rehearsed effectively which was shown in your use of the accent. 

To improve, I would suggest watching videos of German people speaking and engaging in pleasant conversation as sometimes your accent dipped into French. This is an easy mistake to make when you are not familiar with accents and can take years to perfect, but watching videos would have enabled you make notes of how to say certain phrases. A rehearsal tip would be videoing yourself saying certain lines and making notes on what to change and how to change it when you listened back."