YOLO Show Week//Evaluation

 Tuesday

Today went really well, overall I'd genuinely say today has gone really well, we've finally managed to do a full run we had around two stop and starts but that was just because of lines being botched and missed, but we managed to actually get it done and I am very happy with how it turned out. Kane watched it and gave us some useful feedback, telling me that in Scene 2 (the doctor scene) I need to be a little more present, and that we have to change the scene so that It's as if I've already been told that I have a tumour, I know I'm going to have a hard time doing that because I've never thought of Jack's lines being that way, but I will try and take it on board, he also mentioned that in that scene I'm experiencing denial, finding any way to disprove what the doctors saying, such as when I ask if what the doctors saying is just a wind-up, It's Jack grasping for hope and clutching at straws to try and find any sort of little light that's left. 

He also said that for Scene 3 It's more frustration than anger, and that I need to show my thought process before I lash out at them, because Jack doesn't hate his friends he's just frustrated because he's realising just how small he is in the world, and how he is more than likely going to die while they're in front of him, drinking and dressing up, he's breaking down and I need to show that he's simply frustrated with them, the only thing he's angry at is his diagnosis and I'd have also said that later in the show he's angry with the fact he feels as though no ones listening to him, as shown with his conversations with his sister Josie, and how Lucy assumes the worst and talks over him. I'd have also said that the reason he goes to the bar between scene 6 and 7 is that he's trying to punish himself, when It's not *really* his fault, he shouldn't have directed his built up anger at them but It's not his fault he's got a tumour and is going through it. He starts to believe he deserves to be in pain so he tries to get beat up but in the process of doing so he only drags the last people he has left down with him, Johnno, Daf and Luke until he's completely alone. Thus he goes to the beach in scene 8 to drown himself in alcohol, trying to drown the pain out with the drink and the music, yet neither work until he completely passes out, to which he just gives up, terrified yet also on the verge of just giving in to his diagnosis. 

Kane said for Scene 5 that when I tell Josie about my tumour I should barely be able to say it, because I don't want to accept the fact It's real, I don't want to acknowledge what's happening, but I have no choice, Josie being family I felt as though it was right to tell her only for it to blow up in Jacks face. 

For Scene 8 I should keep showing the headaches creeping up on me, until the pain overwhelms me, I need to keep showing it throughout the scene to show that It's really bad. I'm going to have to balance having to drink and show pain on my face and actions throughout the scene, which whilst I'm sure I'll struggle with I'm also quite excited to do more. 

For Scene 9, he said that I should be more terrified, considering It's after midnight and thus the day Jack has the operation, I'm going to have to show this through his body language and voice, I'm confident I can do it for Thursday. 

I'm just hoping that the show will go well on Thursday night, It's certainly going to be weird for YOLO to be over, yet I'm also excited for the next project to start, though I will be sad to see this little project of ours end.

The Actual Show - Thursday

The Show's gone a lot better than I had initially planned, I tried and did everything I was told, I took the advice given from several different people on board and put my all into it. This show has been something I've wanted to properly do for a long time, even early on in the production process I wanted to be Jack, and it felt like I was consumed by the role, I feel like for a moment of the show, I was him. If I could learn how to fake tears, the show would've been so much more than what it already was. 

I loved doing every scene but I think the ones that stood out the most was Scene 10, 9 and 5. I definitely could've done it all better and I'd have loved to do a second show but I'm still happy with the end result. Scene 5 showed how fractured Jack's mindset was, how he's lost his friends so now he's running to his sister in hopes to get her to help, he doesn't know how he wants it but he knows he does. Yet all she does is turn him away, speak over him and when he does come out with it gets overwhelmed herself and leaves him to sit in the silence of his own thoughts. Scene 9 shows how he's practically given up, from from scene 7-8 he has given up, he thinks he's going to die, he thinks he's lost everyone, so he tries to drown the pain away in alcohol, letting loose on a beach. I believe I showed this with how I made him come onto stage, slouching, facial expressions being practically emotionless, staring at the floor as I walked on, and then staring out into the beach when I'm there. It was also the first time I've done the scene with an open bottle, I filled it half up with water to show that he had already drank some. Then when I had to dance, I was dreading this entire scene, I tried my best to do it properly but I admit I still wish I could've done more with it, however, what was probably my saving grace is the fact I slipped on the water, I came back to centre stage, where I started, and slipped over falling on my back, it was earlier than intended but it worked apparently so well that everyone was convinced, I had several people telling me that they couldn't tell and several people telling me that they could tell, I think it could've been from different perspective in the audience. However, It did pay off, I think it was needed personally as it was thousand times more believable, than just falling to my knees, I slipped and fell over, then fake cried and held my head. 

Scene 10 was a powerful emotional scene, I couldn't have been happier with it, with how awkward Jack was with Johnno to being reunited with his friends and Lucy, how they apologized and forgave each other, holding his friends close as frank sinatra's my way climaxes and blackout. It was an amazing scene, I think I did well on my characterisation and being absolved into the scene itself. 

Feedback:

"Mark, you really took a hold of the emotional journey for jacko. You brought his pain to life and you showed his self destruct well particularly with the anger towards the silliness of his friends in regards to a simple selfie

I enjoyed the beach moment - you could have let go further but it's a major challenge and one of the hardest scenes I've ever seen written for a solo performer.
The Slide Over was heartstopping but it worked lol
The pain at each point of acknowledgement was well executed and it really took you on that journey with you.
Your clarity of the relationships with all your counterparts was spelt out through your reactions and your physical presence to them all.
It was a triumph

And together I felt the fear and the pain of every person on that stage" - Kelly Fairhurst (Tutor)