Show day Blood Brothers/task 5

 The day began with me getting into college and immediately changing into my costume, I was incredibly nervous for the day but I tried to power through the anxiety and just get on with it. We immediately jumped into rehearsal due to the Matinee at 1:30pm and everything was going as planned, up until the point where we reached the Summer Sequence of the play. Which was changed to where I have to time it with the music, and therefore be careful of where I finish in case I finish a sentence too soon before the music ends and the queue is botched for the ensemble to come on. The scene is about Eddie, Mickey and Linda hanging out over the course of three years, as shown by the fact after each rhyme I mention an age, apart from where I explain that the "Devil was Hardly visible" Which I took as a reference to the fact the Narrator has no lines in Act three. So as to mention this, I made sure to not come on during Act three, but so that Act 4 runs smoothly, I didn't go off stage, instead, I hid behind part of the set which luckily worked, after asking several people who watched if they could see me behind it, It came to the conclusion my idea had worked. And thus, when the calm before the storm of Act three ended, Act 4 would start and I'd stare at the opening to the arch-way next to me, The second I saw the blue light go on, I'd walk out into it, sorting my suit jacket out to keep myself busy as I waited for the carnival music to start, as to which my attention would be drawn to the people setting up the stalls. Luckily for me, I was able to perform under the stress of timings before we decided that even if the music was still playing, for the ensemble to come on regardless of the music and if my line was finished. However, this did not stop me from trying to time it right.  Because despite the fact I could've just one it and that be that, I didn't want to. I would've failed myself had I done that. I am picky about the way I work and act, to me I have to be absorbed into the character which tends to happen on show day, where I practically become the character and give it my very all, which I didn't even know I could do, consider I try and give it my all at rehearsals. The key to learning and getting feedback as early as possible is to act as how you would for the finished piece, which is why I'm so obsessed with getting feedback. I despise the thought that there was something I could've done that I didn't, which ruined the immersion for the audience. After gaining feedback for the Summer Sequence, from both Kelly and Tom, I tried to implement it, I was a little confused as to how I'd add Tom's feedback to my acting, as he told me that as the narrator I need to guide the show, but currently Mickey was. So I thought about changing the tone of voice, slowing some words, changing the pitch of lines and my gestures. I knew I could be better, So I tried reaching for it. 

However, the time for the Matinee arrived. As we didn't have a school coming in, we were going to have an open dress show, where people could enter if they wanted to, unfortunately, no one did. And we just had the people who weren't ensemble or a main character in the audience, so It really felt like a normal rehearsal yet the anxiety, the fear of messing up in front of a live audience was still present, it was dumbfounding. Yet I'm also glad that the audience was essentially empty, due to the fact that I messed up a line at the start of act two. Once I finished the line I immediately went backstage and I felt awful. I felt sick to my stomach and I honestly felt like I had failed myself. Considering that, that was the day of the show, It was too late for mess-ups in my mind, after all the time I've had preparing, rehearsing, and learning, in my mind It was pathetic of me to mess up a line I'd done plenty of times before. I made sure to watch for my queue after which though. And I did make it through the entire show without any more mess-ups, it wasn't up to my standard but it certainly wasn't completely awful, I was just heavily disappointed in myself that I messed it up. After the Matinee finished it was time for the actual show, Of course after the hour or so break we had before we had to reset the stage, and then it was time for the actual show to begin. We had to stay stood up for a considerable amount of time longer than the Tuesday show because from what I've heard, some audience members were late and hadn't arrived on time properly especially when the air conditioning was turned off in the theatre due to the noise being louder than some of the cast members themselves, by the time the doors closed and we started, I was already dripping in sweat, but I still pulled the start off to my expectations, and I was happy with it, I immediately went off stage after, had a drink, wiped my face down and told myself that once the Summer Sequence is finished, It's smooth sailing, due to the fact that I only had two lines apart from the end of the show left after which. And even though I had messed up my line that morning, I still pulled through and delivered it correctly. I followed my own advice, as well as Kelly and Tom's, I really tried to put it into my acting and I hope the difference was noticeable, even if it wasn't, I still enjoyed doing it and I was happy with the outcome. After Act three, I knew I had to stay on stage for the rest of the show, which was fairly challenging to do as not only was I dripping in sweat, my legs and feet were feeling the pressure of being on your feet for nearly two hours, with rarely any break, even during the interval I spent most of it behind the pillar just to make sure I wouldn't mess up again. I didn't mess up and in my honest opinion I think it went great, but alongside that, I also believe I could've done more. I believe I could've been louder, emphasised my lines more, checked my placement and made sure I wasn't in the way of anyone, or looking out of place with the scenes I decided to stay on stage for before act 3. However, after getting feedback for how I did after the show, I was told there was nothing that needed adding or changing, it was next to perfect. I was incredibly glad to know that but I also still believe I could've done more. I wanted to portray the Devil as someone who tells the tale of the twins throughout the whole story, having moments of eeriness throughout the show, which I ended up having. I remember hearing that the audience was actually crying towards the end of it. I am immensely proud of my peers, and I could not ask for a better team.

However, on the shows where I wasn't doing any acting. I helped backstage with motivation, telling people that I thought they were doing amazingly if they were, and none left me disappointed. Everyone was always great. I helped with set design in the interval, changing the set to match it for act 4, including helping bring Eddie's office on towards the end of the show. I was happy to help, happy that I knew I was being relied on for it, but it obviously came with the pressure of messing it up. I made sure everyone knew where their props were before finishing the interval set change. On top of this, I also helped with marketing, sharing posts about the shows, telling people how to buy tickets, where to go and how much they were. I also made a poster to help for the last show, as I thought that even if we couldn't get a sell-out audience, we could've gotten extremely close to one. 

I'm extremely happy and proud of everyone for their extremely hard work. And I can't wait to work with my fellow peers in September, whilst meeting those who would take my place as a year 1, Here's to another great, amazing year at SRC!